The Dapper Dagger
Comedian, Actor, Fashionista, and Mommy's little failure.

At what point is it time to give in? It’s understood that love can only get you so far. I take full accountability for my mistakes. If there is blame, I’ll shoulder the bulk of it. Here we are… almost 2 years later still fighting about things as if they happened months ago. Some days it seems we’ll be able to move forward, finally- and then it seems almost every few days there’s an episode that brings us back to as shaky of ground as we’ve known. 

I believe relationships are friendships. I believe if you can’t simply be happy with the person you’ve decided to dedicate all your time to- it’s the wrong person. As we wrapped The Last Five Years, we almost purposely put aside the similarities between the couples. I’d hear the question “are we Jamie and Cathy?” a few times, and I would only hope to myself that she could see their path as an example. The lyrics from “If I Didn’t Believe in You” are as clear as they come… “Don’t we get to be happy? At some point down the line- don’t we get to relax?”

There’s always something to be upset about. And there’s usually a rationalizing of it like “well, this week it was bad because of….”… then it’s bad 2 weeks from then because of …. and then again because of… never ending cycle. 

Oddly enough I hear talks and suggestions of forever… engagements… even kids. While we can’t go an entire week without having a night where she seems to hate me. If things don’t change. If they don’t stay at a steady course toward promising health- it’s impossible to even consider any of these things. But every day I’m here. Hoping things do get better. As I have been for close to 2 years. Hoping. But they aren’t. I often wonder just how naive I am to think it will somehow. I know most people would have called it a loss and moved on, but when the days are good- they’re so damned good. Sometimes it seems worth the trade. But it isn’t good. Not this. Not for either of us. We deserve better. And we should seek better. If not within ourselves, we should be honest about it and find it elsewhere. 

But I’ll keep hoping some miracle happens and she lets it go. She stops obsessing over people that never mattered. Maybe. But if not- I hope she finds someone that does it right from day one. When happy, she’s the most beautiful human in the world. Which is why i can’t stand to see her hurting and knowing I’m the root for much longer. 

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Burton F/W 2013 lookbook

Brooks Brothers Fall/Winter 2013 Campaign
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— Paul Rudd on tattoos, in an interview with Grantland (via gq)

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6 Train, Bleecker Street, 5:04pm

You know… I catch a lot of shit. Mostly from a small group of people, but it’s enough to make me bitter. You have one bad run-in with someone, and it spreads like a drop of poison in the waters you swim. It’s unfortunate, but that’s why you have to be careful with who you associate with. 

Most people see me as a nice guy. I’m offended when people don’t, because I’m never intentionally sour to anyone. Even those I should be. I still extend a hand, still hope for them, and still wish them well. I always leave the door open. Maybe we can’t be friends, and that’s perfectly fine. But I won’t carry around some grudge for the meer fact that you do yourself. 

I think a lot of times people convince themselves of what they see- with no aid of our own to persuade them. It’s the way people operate. 

The truth is… I want everyone happy. That’s my wish. That we all end up happy. Sooner rather than later. Whatever that takes - as long as it happens. I’m not a bad person. I’ve always felt my job here on Earth is to make people happy, and up until recent, I’ve always done a very good job of living to that purpose. I will continue to do so again. 

I’m going to be happy, regardless. Because that’s what happens when you let the hate go. When you hold no bad feelings for anyone. 

Are there people I’m greatly disappointed in? Of course. Are there people that annoy me? People I think are full of shit? Doing wrong? Yes.  But I understand they’re just people. And that’s what people do. They fuck up. They learn from it. You just have to let them. They’ll show you they are who you want them to be, if you just let them. 

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82/365 Rat Pack on Flickr.
Rat Pack by SHAG!
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My favorites from The Great Gatsby Collection by Brooks Brothers

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J.Crew plus shoes Cole Haan